Sunday, 21 June 2009

• Is it really cheating if you don't mean it?

  So, the song goes... "Baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me..." you get the picture.  I personally think, if you really want to know what love is, you have to get hurt.  I used to think I knew what love was.  the whole "i built my wall high, not to keep anyone out, but to see who cared enough to climb over it." is a doozie of a thought.  I can see a point to that statement, but, on the flip side of that coin, a person can only climb so far, and so high, before they are mentally and physically worn out.  Just when you think you are getting to the top, and you can actually see somewhat over the other side, you get kicked in the face and knocked back down to ground zero.  I don't understand why love has to be so complicated.  You meet someone, you click, you talk, you go out..... spend pretty much every spare second with them, thinking about them, missing them.  Just when you get to a point where you are comfortable enough to actually let your guard down long enough to show someone you care, you get bombarded with a kick to the gut. 

  I am no genius, I will never win a peace prize, but one thing  that I AM good at is reading people and seeing through them when it is brought to my attention.  Cocky?  Maybe to some people.  I see it as, there is nothing, and I do mean nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done.  I've seen every shady trick, I've heard every excuse, I've played every game, and nothing you can bring to my table hasn't been here before.  Sneaky, lying, deceitful, hateful people are only here  to strengthen people like me.

  Don't tell me you are going to do something and then not do it.  Don't tell me you love me if you don't really mean it.  Emotions suck no doubt about it.  When you get to the point in your life that you realize, being IN love is a gift, an emotion, an ACTION that should be shared with ONE person.  How can you love someone, and yet, be the first person to stab them in the back given the opportunity. 

  There are many things I have done in my lifetime, that as a God fearing christian woman, I am not proud of.  I've never killed anyone, "physically anyway" I've told my white lies here and there, and all of the other "shunned" acts, except cheat.  Not even so much as on a test.  I couldn't imagine the pain and guilt I would have to carry around with me, knowing that I am doing something that is hurting the person who loves me.  that being said.... what's considered cheating?

  Some people, (even one of our former presidents... Billy Boy) think cheating is soley the act of actual sex.  Some people think that kissing, meeting descretely, or the mere talking of any of that nature is considered cheating.  I personally believe all of the above mentioned is just that.  If you love someone, you dont do things behind their backs knowing they would be crushed if they found out.  Call me old fashioned, but thats me.  this day in age, sex is too pasay, love is over used, divorce is too common and morals, peoples words, and promises are a thing of the past.  Nothing melts my heart more than to see an older couple still in love after so many years.  Sure theyve had their problems, but when it comes right down to it, 50-60 years these people share something that I wish I could experience.  Yes Im still young, and yes there are millions of fish in the sea, I dont want to spend all my time fishing.  I dont want to waste one precious moment of my life not giving all my love to that one person.  Sharing everything with someone who appreciates me for who and what I am. 

  Again, I will say, I am not pissed off, Im not mad, Im not upset.  I am disappointed, let down, hurt, and ashamed to say the least.  I leave you with this.....  Forever, is not long enough for me.  To the moon and back, will never be far enough me.  Lying will never be accepted by me, and hearts will never be broken by me.  Thanks for everything and nothing at the same time.  Thank you for showing me, I am good enough to love and be loved, to and by a person worthy of what I have to offer.

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• randomly placed random thoughts

  I like to make light out of just about any situation.  A friend of mine posted questions on her space, and I answered with my usual extreme sarcastic comments.  It ended our friendship (along with a few other issues) and i felt like adding it to my site here!  her questions are written in red, and my answers are green.   

  1. what the hell does a guy want? really cuz im so lost on it. with me and a few of my bitchzz its like the more we try the more they push away! guys get mad
  when where not up there buts then  but the min we try to show we care they say we are smothering them.... lol wtf!

  1.  for the most part, guys want someone like their mother....by this i mean, they want that security blanket type feeling.  they want to be able to come and go as they please, do the things they want to do, and know, in the end we will be there for them no matter what.  They want the clean house (hence every other tuesday) they  want the trophy on the arm, they want the company at nite, but they still want the advantage of knowing, its all up to them, what they want they get.  which
  is the reason we should castrate them all now, to save us heartache later on down the road.

  2.okay and girls you ever notice that ull be out  and ull see this really hot guy and you try everything to get his attion. then when u finely get it he says
  something like your friend over there in the red shirt is really cute... uuuummm that's a cut 2 the throat....lol why do we always fall for the ones that
  dont want us?

  2.  girls like the whole bad boy image.  we want what we cant have, just as guys do.  its the thrill of the chase more or less.  yes he may be cute, and yes you may finally build up enough courage to finally go over and talk to him (or build up enough alcohol) and yes when you get there you realize, holy shit, you looked much better from across the room, when i couldnt hear you speak.  as for wanting the friend thing, weve all been guilty of this charge.  you know if hes not good enough for you, then hes not good enough for your friend either.  maybe next time the friend shouldnt wear the red shirt....maybe thats what it is...:)

  
  3. and men you think a pretty girl has such a easy life. you think will hell she's pretty she'll get over me fast . she can get another man in no time. did
  you ever stop to think maybe life is not that easy and all she wanted was you!!  we don't just stand still and look pretty!!!

  3.  yes she may be pretty, and yes as for having randomly being able to choose which asshole will be on the next "future ex boyfriend" list, its not that simple.  We are pretty because we choose to be.  we want that attentioin that is givin to us.  if that werent the case we wouldnt worry about what we looked like when we went out. (even if its grocery shopping in malakoff).  So what we didnt find the right one, its fun for the time being.  As for the stand there and look pretty, that is how it is.  Guys dont want someone that is smarter than them.  They dont want someone that can do better than them at most anything.  They want someone who will stand there, look pretty, let the guy whip their ass at pool or darts, or shooting, or just smarts n general.  They want ot be able to show off their trophy to their friends, have their friends envious of him, all for shits n giggles.  When the prettier totum pole comes  along, no only do you get "kicked to the curb"  you get the reputation of being a whore, or bitch, because THEY are the ones that left.  Its murphys law. Whatever can go wrong will.....and it will be all your fault.  So, in summary, stand there and look pretty....you have that right, and when mr future ex
  boyfriend comes and talks to you, just remember this......you have the right to say....NEXT.
  

  
  4. okay so here is something that has happen to me a few times. you get with a guy. you think the world of him. he says he thinks the world of u. there is no
  one else. and just wen you have open your heart to them lol they said uuumm this is just to fast and before you know it they are talking to there ex's! wtf
  is up with that? but hey we knew deep down we knew you was talking to them....

  4.  I totally know who you are speaking of in this one.  Guys like being able to have choices.  Thats why they like buffetts so much.  They like being able
  to choose what they want when they want it.  It has nothing to do with you, it has to do with the fact that, he was never really over them to begin with.  I
  personally think, exes are exes for a reason, yes you can still be friends, yes you can still talk shit about em, but in the end, going back to their ex is a
  copout on their part.  its that security blanket syndrome that i was referring to back in question number one i believe it was.  My answer to this is, dont
  rush into anything.  keep an open mind, listen to his problems, the moment you start feeling like dr phil, giving advice on what he should do, RUN.  If that
  doesnt work, you could always use that blanket to wrap around his face and smother him with it.  Violent yes, but it will make you feel tons better....and
  itsnt that what this is all about???
  

  
  5.or how about when a man hits you out of the blue and says all the right thangs and then says what he wants out of life. he wants to seddel down and be with
  one woman. let me tell you girls cover ur heart even more cuz them ass hole's lie!!

  5.  this one is my favorite......they are saying all the right things, cuz thats what you want to hear.  you know it and hes figured it out.  not every man really wants to settle down.  they want to have their cake and eat it too.  they want to know, that they have the option of settling down or jumping ship at the first sign of troubled waters.  Guys dont really know what they want.  thats why you cant give them an option.  if you are going out to dinner and you spend more time arguing about where youre going, dont give them an option, tell him where you want to go and leave it at that.  as for the covering your heart, i wouldnt go that far, i would say shelter it a little more but dont cover it.  our past defines who we are today, and every asshole that comes in and out of our lives, makes us stronger more independent women.  so ultimately, what you should do from the start, walk up to his slap him across the face, for the lies hes going to tell you, hug him for defining you as a person, and then introduce yourself.  if he still wants to talk to you, then you know you might have something there.  if not, you got it all out of the way, and you only wasted 3 minutes of your life instead of months or years invested into a relationship.

  
  6. why do guys ether lie to you or lie to there friends? im saying like they tell you that you are everything to them they love you sooo much. then the min . there with there buddies they say i dont love that bitch why does she keep calling me! you fucking guys are wrong 4 that! if you love them you should have no shame in telling them and everyone else!

  6.  this is another favorite....ive been in on this ballgame.  its not that they are ashamed of you.  its not that you are bugging them.  its an image that THEY have to uphold around "the guys"  we as girls are sumwhat guilty of this too.  In the beginning of a relationship, everything is fun, exciting, new. then when reality sets in, the calls start tapering off, the exciting starts becoming not so commonplace, and the new doesnt smell the same.  guys dont want to be known as pussywhipped, they like knowing that they are in control.  they like being able to choose what movie yall are going to watch or what drinks you are going to have.  just remember, guys lie, girls believe it, guys lie some more, cuz girls believe it.  They arent ashamed of you, they are ashamed of themselves to their friends, because it shows they actually might have a heart. 

  
  7. what the fuck is the deal with cheating??? i dont know about men at all on this subject. but as 4 woman (my self) id rather make love , or fuck a guy that
  i have feelings 4. you can have the biggest package in the world. but unless u have feeling 4 that person then its never that good!! so why do men cheat ?
  maybe you men can answer these ?  dont give me that bullshit i dont cheat i never have. lies!! even i have once and i regret that shit 4 the rest of my
  life!!

  7.  aaaaaaaaaaaah.  the infamous cheating game.  its the whole thrill of the chase.  the excitement of doing something you know you shouldnt be doing.  its like cheating on your taxes, you know eventually you are going to get caught, you know, that when you do, its going to change everything as you know it, but yet its still exciting knowing that you can do it.  act first, suffer the consequesces later.  guys are simple minded creatures.  we have to use simple words and actions with them....example....guys sees pretty girl, girl smiles and says hi to guy, with no interest whatsoever on her part.  guy hears....hi, i want to rip off all your clothes and have ravishingly hot sex with you .......guys smiles at his thoughts and mutters.......ok.....girl hears.......im a guy, im going to lie to you.  you should move on while you still have a chance.  guy says something to the effect of, i like your smile....girl hears, i like your smile, lets go back to my place and fuck like rabbits....u get the point.  so to sum up this point..........its not that they are cheating on you to hurt you, they are doing it because its taboo....its exciting, its something different.  and, you, the security blanket will always be there.........or until youve had enough, file for divorce, talk much shit about him to all his friends, and continue to make fun of his current prediciment, because thats what he wanted....life is awesome!!!

   

  8. i really think everyone should tell the truth a lil more. say rite from the beginning what they want! i really think a lot of the guys who have told me
  straight up... that they wanted friends with benefits or just a good time. .. there are girls that want the same thing. so you shouldn't hurt the ones that
  want something more just because its what you want!! that is so not kool! she does have feelings 2!! oh and just so you know im looking 4 Mr. right lol 

  8  as for telling the truth, everyone should do it, but you know they arent going to.  just like everyone should wipe the pee off the seat if they sprinkle, but they dont.  some people are just programmed to lie.  they dont honestly know fact from lie.  theyve lied soooooooooooo much about everything to so many
  people, and its never the same lie, that they too start belileving it.  there will always be liars, cheaters, murderers, rapists, and we will always call them MEN. 
  

  
  9  .so it all comes dwn to this we should all just tell the truth straight up!! WHAT IS MEANT TO BE WILL BE NO MATTER WHAT!! we as girls should not let a man run over us or b lil us! give them nice guys a chance to so what if he is a lil plumper or has brown hair instead of are dream man. if you look in his heart

  and find that he has a beautiful heart you'll see his beauty on the outside. That goes for men to. just cuz she has had a past that you dont agree with or
  has made choices that you think is going to weigh you down and not look good to your friends ur a fucking dumb ass! cuz she could be the best woman in the
  world all them choices made her that much stronger!  men if you ever expect to still my heart just be straight up with me. dont ever b lil me or take me as a
  fool!! never be fake or lie! i could just careless if you have money or a fancy house. its the inside that counts! any who these are just thoughts that go
  threw my head. sry if you cant understand it i wrote kinda fast cuz that is how my brain works lol . have a good one and get back with me if you have some

  answers to my ?'s

   

   To sum up my random answers to your random questions, here i go.  Not everyone can think with their brains, not everyone can feel with their hearts....by everyone, i do mean men.  im not a liberal nut job, i happen to love men.  i dont understand them, and i never will, but thats what makes it exciting.  if i knew how the movie was going to end, i wouldnt watch it in the first place....unless its lonesome dove or something of that nature :)     i like having the option of saying.....ummm, you may go.  i like being able to pick n choose who i do and dont want in my life.  i like the fact that i can stand there and look pretty, or step up whip ur ass at darts or pool, or thumb war.  Im not your mother, im not your maid, i dont want to put the seat down when i go pee.  i like the fact that i am comfortable in boots n jeans, and not mini skirts n stellettos.  i like knowing when someone is lying to me,
  listening to them babble on anyway, and when they are finished, i throw the bullshit flag.  I like knowing that i have about 3 good friends that i can call on at anytime and they will drop everything and assist me......and you know what, two of them are girls.......one of them is a guy......and i havent had sex with any of them.  what does this say?  sex is bad, true friends will be there for you without wanting to bone you, guys lie because they are weak, girls believe the lies because deep down we want to believe it, and im not going to be labeled a liberal bitch.  So, heres to u girl.  you know i love you very much and would do anything in the world for you.  hope this shines a little lite on the subject.....if not, i know it at least made u laugh!!!!
  

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• Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"

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